Stains
by pandorad24
Summary: Jack, now an adult, reminisces on his time spent on the island, and regrets the decisions he's made. He knows that his stains can never be washed clean.


**Well, I had to read **_**Lord of the Flies**_** for my English class, and write a memoir for one of the surviving characters. A lot of people who read the book probably don't realize that Jack had it rough too, having to deal with the regret for what he caused. I just loved the book, and though Simon was my fav, he unfortunately was one of the murder victims on the island. –sighs sadly- So, anyway, here it is. Enjoy.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own **_**Lord of the Flies**_**. That should be obvious.**

_~ Permanent Stains ~_

_Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Spill his blood!_

The chant rang out through the night, as clouds rolled clamorously and lightning flashed overhead, signifying the approaching storm. Jack Merridew watched from a distance, as the boys with painted faces danced around their prey, fighting to get into the inner circle, jagged spears raised. The young boy they terrorized fled the circle, scrambling away from the rock onto the beach, crying something about a body on a hill. The painted boys pursued him, screaming, shouting, and falling onto their prey, who was helpless as they bit and tore and struck with their fists, spears left abandoned on the rock. Within minutes, the boy was silent, lying motionless on the red sand…

_Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Spill his blood!_

Jack was no longer watching the scene from the sidelines, but rather, he found himself chanting with the rest, dancing around the unmoving body of Simon as rain poured down from the stars. Thunder crashed in time with the sea, and lightning illuminated the faces around him smeared with clay, as the savage choir raised their voices into the murderous song…

_Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Spill his blood!_

Jack woke with a start, bolting upright in his bed, red hair plastered to his scalp with sweat. He was breathing heavily, immersed in the vivid memories of the nightmare. It had all been so real, and so terrible…

He took a deep breath, reminding himself that it was just a dream. But, the horrible fact of the matter was, the scene had indeed been pulled from his dark past. He couldn't deny that he once took part in the bloodthirsty chant, had once led the boys masked with paint in the violent dance that had ended Simon's life. He knew that he was responsible.

Heaving a weary sigh, Jack rose from his bed and made his way down the hall toward the bathroom, careful not to wake his flat mates who were still asleep, one of them snoring deeply in the next room. Stepping up to the sink, he turned on the faucet and splashed his face with the cool water, trying to wash the images from his mind. When this proved useless, he dried himself with a towel, looking up at his reflection in the mirror.

He stared at the man before him, taking in the shaggy hair and unshaven face. His appearance hadn't improved much ever since he was rescued from the island as a boy. His parents had of course been shocked by the change that had taken place in him - they had, after all, raised him to be a neat, proper boy. He remembered not being able to stand it, looking in the eyes of those he loved, after the tragedies that he had caused on that miserable spec of land in the middle of the ocean. Less than a month after returning home, he had run away by himself, tormented by the accusing glares that Ralph gave him when they occasionally passed each other in the halls of the old academy.

It's true that he and Ralph had once been friends, however, his craving for power had created a barrier between them that could never be torn down. That, beside the murders of Simon and Piggy, was his greatest regret. He would never know if, by refusing to let the pursuit of authority get to his head and retaining Ralph's friendship, he could have avoided the killings and other cruel acts committed by him and the other savages. He knew now that he should have listened to Ralph, he and Piggy were the only ones that had any sense on that island! They should have kept a fire going, and not…

And not gone savage and killed each other.

Jack felt a pang of guilt and regret in his heart for his many transgressions committed as a child. He knew now that, had he the chance to experience the whole thing over again, he would have clung to humanity and civilization as much as possible. Sure, it had been easy at the time to paint his face and run around like a wild savage carelessly, but the reality was that dealing with the aftermath was almost too much to bear. The guilt would never fade.

As he stared blankly ahead at the blue, haunted eyes in the mirror, he could see in them the bloodthirsty boy he had once been, and the chant he'd admired years ago rang in his ears.

_Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Spill his blood!_

Unable to look any longer, he buried his face in his hands, and silently wept for the stains of murder that would never be washed clean.

_Summer has come and past_

_The innocent can never last_

_Wake me up when September ends_

_Like my Fathers come to pass,_

_Seven years has gone so fast_

_Wake me up when September ends_

_Here comes the rain again,_

_Falling from the stars_

_Drenched in my pain again_

_Becoming who we are_

_As my memory rests,_

_But never forgets what I lost_

_Wake me up when September ends_

_Summer has come and past_

_The innocent can never last_

_Wake me up when September ends_

_Bring out the bells again,_

_Like we did when spring began_

_Wake me up when September ends_

_Here comes the rain again,_

_Falling from the stars_

_Drenched in my pain again_

_Becoming who we are_

_As my memory rests,_

_But never forgets what I lost_

_Wake me up when September ends_

_Summer has come and past_

_The innocent can never last_

_Wake me up when September ends_

_Like my fathers come to pass,_

_Twenty years has gone so fast_

_Wake me up when September ends,_

_Wake me up when September ends,_

_Wake me up when September ends..._

**How was that? Forgot to mention, I added the song in ("Wake Me Up When September Ends", by Green Day) because it fit in so perfectly, and I based the fic on it loosely. I just love that song, it's so beautiful.**

**Anyway, R&R, wish me a good grade! :)**

**P.S. I just got the feedback on this assignment - here are the exact words of my teacher... "Absolutely amazing submission. The creative component of this assignment was one of the best I have read! WOWEE! I am so impressed with you! You are a fine writer!" And the teacher's pet award goes to... xD**


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